The Dilz Journey

Today I am thankful. Thankful that I am alive to be thankful. Thankful that I am able to be thankful with every ounce of my being. No I didn't achieve something awesome or experience something amazing to base my heart of gratitude from today. In fact, I have an assignment that I need to work on, I have pending dreams and god from like forever, and I have a family that I long to be with peacefully and quietly but I can't or I don't have all of these yet.  But I am grateful.  Grateful because I dont want to ever be too busy nor too quick to forget how much I've been provided for right now. I don't want to take now for granted. I dont want to get so used to the now, that I neglect to say Thank You. This is all a part of the journey and I did not just come in to the now over night.  I mean, there has been seasons and seasons of crying, of being disappointed over the circumstances, of not having a clue of what to do next or if there will ever be another season than righ...

[WARNING: These thoughts are completely my own battling through the odds and reality of life and trying to see it fit in to the wonderful adventure of having a relationship with God. No hard feelings.]  When days are hard And my mind battles through the scars The things that are close to my heart Trying to find its way back to the start The world around me seem so complacent and nonsense Here I am praying not to get poisoned. Is it wrong to care, I wonder? People just chilling like my Jesus didnt suffer Came to give His LIFE while we wandered The life that i s like no other! Yet we choose much less than His offer Pre-marital sex, selfish ambition and lustful pleasures Sorcery, jealousy and outbursts of anger To name a few of our acts of ignorance on things that matter. So, what am I supposed to do with all of these struggles?  Well we who belong to Christ are more than conquerors We might fall but we rise up taller Sinking...

I wrote this on January 24th  and today I feel like sharing it here.  Mothers may be a lot of things but being weak is not one of them. They endure through the toughest pains and struggles ever known to man and still manage to smile and love and move on.  Mine, she knows all my friends even though she hasnt met half of them. (and she may never will), listens to all my ramblings even if doesn't agree or even if its just plain boring and silently prays that I grow up and be better than before and no matter what will still be here when everyone else isn't. The perfect and closest illustration of Jesus and his beloved.  Cheers to all you awesome mothers!  Father,  My heart bursts forth in joy At all You've brought my way Thank you isn't enough to fully convey Your wondrous works my God keep blowing me away. Today my mom is a year older How blessed I am, I still ponder Her reverence for You, no one can fight her For her God comes first and there...

Photo Credit: Kingdom Ambassadors International Fellowship Aunty La, My heart sank a bit hearing your passing But in the split of a second i smiled I smile I smile I smile! Yes I smile, oh I smile! I smile because God is smiling I smile because I know heaven is still shining I smile because you've always smiled I've hardly seen you in a situation otherwise I smile because you knew who you were working for! and you never had its second thoughts I smile because your relationship with Him was SO evident so joyful, so full of life, so transparent I smile because I know beyond knowing that you have done your part I smile because I know you have made so much difference I smile because you've emptied all of you in every one of us Your dedication, your heart, your love has impacted every one. As tears stream down my face My heart is full recalling our last conversation You said, "Working for my king is my bread and butter, I have nothing to lo...

Sometimes Sometimes its just good to be still To be quiet, to be away. Because in these moments you realize all the things that tests your patience sometimes, all the things that contradicts your values and the things  you are striving for sometimes, all the little things that aim to  open doors to frustration, confusion and anxiety... In these moments, all of these become MEANINGLESS. POINTLESS. POWERLESS. And everything that God is, unravels before you and keeps you in selah moments every second minute. Alas, worship at its finest..... Life at its best for me. Far beyond all the questions I may have All the ponderings of my heart All the unmet "needs" All the different situations that presents itself before me The LIFE undo's me And I am made whole Again and again. and again. and again. Instantly my spirit rises And before my King I present a song and dance Only He understands The world may never comprehend How much this love really has...

Recently the Lord placed in my heart the grandeur of raising children.  It dissected my soul and spirit and has me bawling for days.   A few weeks ago a 20 year old boy was buried after being found dead outside a night club in Suva. At 20 years of age this boy has been a member of street gangs, robbed homes for fun - no joke! (and 75% of the homes in his childhood neighborhood) and thus has been in and out of jail.... and only God knows what other crimes.   His death spoke volumes to my mother. All the stories told about him at his funeral were about him being mistreated and pushed aside, passed from one home to another and the likes.  My mom was one who branded him a criminal and didnt want my brothers to have anything to do with him. (Oh we're related and used to live 3 houses away from each other.)   The stories at the funeral ached my mother's heart in realizing the kind of believer she had been in his life. and not only her. 90% of believers out th...

Today we picked Ala up from town.  (So for those who don’t know me, Ala is considered a sister who is studying at Vanuatu where Tropical Cyclone Pam just hit a few days ago.)  She is all well and smiling.  It was fun to see her again even though she had just left only a month ago or so.  We did the whole dramatic Errrr-my-gaaawwssh moment, group hug and slaps. And that’s the end of my entry today.  Thanks for reading. I just wanted to share that. Lol. We look super excited right? haha JOKES!!! Okay. This didn’t dawn on me until Esita shared that seeing Ala all joyful and well  after a devastating natural disaster in Vanuatu spoke volumes to her on JOY after the storm; that whatever storm you feel you’re in right now, God is right there with you and He will definitely be right there on the other side ready to give us a group hug and the likes.  So much joy!   So for me, seeing her brought only two words to mind: SECOND CHANCE...

And 2015 is on the GO ! Today I’m encouraged that there’s no place in this world where His love won’t find me. No place. Not even in myself.  I can do all the chores in the world, watch never ending movies, be in all the ‘perfect’ places and act like a tourist, (trying to get myself distracted more or less…) but His love is still right there by me.  He is always right here with me.  In this moment where I am contemplating spending time with Him and being anxious of unnecessary wants – mine and others, I find Him patiently waiting, chilling and watching me intently. Hmmph. Another year….. Another year of sitting in lecture rooms hoping that the brilliant point that you just got from the lecturer is exactly what he wants his students to take out of all he said Another year of doing errands for that uptight/cool (when he wants to be) kinda boss Another year of being adventurous with crazy friends Another year of learning from mistakes in all its silliness ...

What I'm about to write on maybe new to some and disturbing to some others, but I find it exciting to share!  John 4:24 GOD is SPIRIT and those who worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth.   The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are ONE right. The purpose of the Holy Spirit being poured on us is so that we can be reconnected to God.  Notice the prefix 're' which means to return to its original state.  Our original state is being in God's Presence (Eden) fully connected.   The Holy Spirit is only sent to dwell in one type of vessel - us. He doesn't dwell in animals or any other created being! Just us. Not even angels. Imagine! God's Spirit in us! - wait. I'm pretty sure you aren't getting it.    GOD    in     you.    And GOD is the Source, God the Healer, God the Creator, God who is sovereign, God who has power authority and honor over all nations and systems, whose rule is eternal - THIS GOD in us! NOW...

How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!  Psalm 133:1 How is it that I live with the coolest people ever in the coolest house ten (to fifteen) 21year old girls can ever live in, in Fiji, 5mins away from USP. Two years ago (which wasn’t really a long time ago) some of us weren’t even allowed to step out of the house at 12 midnight, let alone sleep over at a friend’s house. And daylighting was never to be discussed.  Ever. Moving out? - Impossible.  Crazy! Its like we were hand picked. Literally. From our different upbringings and backgrounds and past, one thing we have come to ‘see’ and continue to secretly give God a quick smile for is, our similarities in taste of values in literally everything – (apart from clothes and music) modesty, integrity, and especially our faith in the lover of our soul. Coming to live together and discovering these things about each other has been mind blowing where Im like, “…and I thought I was the ...