The Dilz Journey

Last Thursday we buried a man responsible for all the good/fun childhood memories we (siblings and cousins) have in at least the first decade of our lives. He was fun! We called him Taitai (grandfather in Naitasiri) and he was my mother's uncle - married to our grandfather's sister also our grandfather's cousin.  He took people in from all races and relatives from different generations have at least one point of their lives came to stay at their house, back in the day when not everyone had a place in Suva yet and people would come from all over to Suva in search for a "better life." I am sure people had other options of where to stay at but for some reason his house was always the people's choice and that spoke a lot about his character.  His generosity.  As an adult now and looking back, I'm pretty sure he wasn't earning a million bucks but man that 2-bedroom caretaker's house in Wailada FELT like a million bucks!  I also learnt much later in life...

Facebook memories reminded me tonight that 7 years ago today we were getting ready to bury our father, on Feb 12th. Oh I hadn't experienced a heartache like that before. I remember saying it felt like my heart was being ripped up open from my fragile body. 💔  This year we entered the year getting ready for Naus 100 nights. Nau who's been with me all 3 decades of my life, 5 decades of my mother's life. But more specifically, the Nau we ate and lived with past 5 years. A constant presence just not present anymore.  2 weeks after that one of my life friends passed on, the night of her birthday. I was messaging with her all that week because we share the same birthday week. I wished it was a dream. A horrible nightmare to wake up from. But she really was gone. Just msging the day before, and gone the next.  The gift of grief?  A question because in one second grief feels devastating. And in the next second you laugh at a silly or random memory of them. A heartache hard ...