Ten Years Later..

Talking with Annie a few days ago and just processing through how we sometimes have this idea of ourselves in our minds - that I am humble, that I am a good person, loving and nice and kind, people loving and never judging and most of all - "godly".... All rainbows and sunshine until you meet someone who lives and goes beyond your lifestyle, or what you thought was good and I remember just having to sit still for a minute and take in what I had just encountered. 

The way God had it was, I caught up with an oldest good friend of mine from high school this past month and I couldnt believe what I learnt/ discovered about myself. I thought I knew grace until I met her. (Turns out I might be needing grace lessons now and again, and again and again.) 

We (a group of friends) all wrote in my journal in high school from time to time and it just so happened that I found this journal around the time I met this one. We laughed good and hard over the sillinness of what once was - highschool crushes, weird nicknames and makefuns. In that process I quickly had flashbacks. I knew the story we each came from but it wasnt until being with her again now, ten years later that I got to re-live it all for a bit, now completely understanding it all. I remember why she did the things she did; why she chose the things she chose; I also remember why sleepovers at their place was one of my favorite teenage memories. 

Sitting around with her dad and her siblings a few weekends ago, I got to hear them talk about that time again - when they had nothing, when they were living on $70/week. See I never knew or realized, EVER that they were in financial need at the time, because their hearts of fun and joy was seriously contagious! They were rich in my opinion because they werent defined by what material things they had or didnt have. They were rich in family; in love; in laughter; in each other. Thats all I got from my sleepovers there. No pretension whatsoever. And that marked our friendship forever. 

Ten years later I got to see where she's at today and my goodness. What a life she has made for herself, considering all the history. Her and her husband own a backpacker off Rakiraki called the TheBeehive Fiji. One of my favorite memories of her now will be going to the Rakiraki market with her. Lets just say my, what I thought was a  godly character in me got schooled. She knew them by name; she greeted them with a spoil or two (which in all Fijian manner is the highest scale of friendship); people I would never have met or talked to, randomly in any "normal" day.

I saw it. Her deciding to join FFP candidacy was for these people - her people, even though they had moved there only a year ago. From the uncle at the bean cart to the refree of the sunday soccer games who had burnt scars alll over his body - this scared me for a second until I saw her cracking jokes with him. Schooled was an understatement. 

Ten years later I'm still learning the why's. 

Ten years later I'm hearing an other side to the story.

Ten years ago 

They said they didnt have much but I was drawn to them because though they didnt have much, 

they had a wealth that made me feel at home; 

they have a wealth that I wasnt familiar with.. 

The wealth of accepting us just the way one is; 

the wealth of joy in the mundane; 

The wealth of rejoicing in the little things; 

The wealth of laughter;

The wealth of friendships; 

The wealth of family - 

The real wealth(s) in life. 

Ten years ago I thought I knew myself

Ten years later I'm still finding myself in the nothingness.