The Dilz Journey

Amazingly overwhelmed is how I best describe (though poorly i think) my feelings in the past week.  I thought everything was good until it got even better! Phew. My hands are sweating and shaking and my heart skipping as I write this.  The Presence. - I welcome thee ! God is good. The phrase I struggled to say and believe with all my heart every other day. I have to confess, at least once a week I give in and get soooo mad - at everything, at everyone, at life, at God.  Yesterday was that day for me this week.  It came out of nowhere. Anger i mean.  I was angry. So angry.  I've recently been so fearful of alot of things and I hated it.  Negative thoughts and ideas flooded my mind like crazy - suicide included.  I didnt have the heart to talk with anyone. I walked down to Suva Point.  I imagined myself walking and walking and walking into the ocean until.......   That small ounce of faith I had inside of me knew I would literally ...

My testimony of what I’m enduring through this past month.    I was feeling like a failure.   Everything I did or didn’t do was judged and so haunted me.   All that I was involved in and all that I wanted didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.   I gave in. I believed the lies that I really was a failure.   Everything seemed okay and settled on the outside but my heart was at war.   The Lord was sweet in coming through to me through His word as I sought Him. So I concluded that it was just me and the Lord that needed to sort out my problems.   Didn’t think anyone near me fully understood what I was going through because I didn’t even understand it myself. I felt I was slipping away from something but didn’t really know what. June 12 th God allowed I experience something insanely painful. Insanely painful.   It challenged everything I’ve always believed in and love talking about: GRACE, Forgiveness, love, hope. ...