The (3rd) Climb

"I've been there two or three times already, it's fine." I can make it because I already have.

I had a normal Saturday morning which for the past 5months of lockdown and restrictions, has been alot of resting (sleeping) and then a weekly check in call in the afternoon and more resting.

This Saturday in particular, I was feeling like an out n about. It was 12pm. Friend asked if I was up for Mt Korobaba hike.

I laughed, and said Sure! - Because I've been there before, and because its after 12 and she cant be serious right?! Because who does that! I learnt later that it was her first time and so she didnt really think that through.(the timing I mean, because everyone goes up early!) 😒 

I couldnt back out, we were already on our way with 4 others that she pulled in for it.

I had to quickly mentally psyche myself up for it bc this was actually happening and my mental space needed to shift to make the climb.

The journey.

We all started together.

Did I mention they all play rugby?

Yup. I was in for a treaaaat! Of competition 😭

2 went straight for it. Did not even look back to care.

2 took their time and at their own pace and the other 2 (🙋‍♀️) somewhere in between the other pairs.

For about 30-40 minutes it was just me, myself and the goooooooood Lord! 

Me to me:

➡️Jesus why am I doing this!

➡️I should go back (but I kept going forward! 😩)

➡️This is a bad idea!

➡️I shouldve just waited in the car!

➡️Why am i doing this!!!!!

For some reason, at that point, the challenge of the journey uphill was exhilarating that I didnt want to stop and go back. If you know me, THIS was a big shift.  I knew I would regret it. And I didnt want to. Because I had already come so far dot dot dot  ON MY OWN. 

I kept asking myself, how on earth did I make it the last 2 times! That I didnt feel discouraged this time!!

And the answer was (IS) : COMMUNITY.

I stopped to reflect on that for a minute. 🥺

Wow Father. That was sweet. 

We really do forget or aren't focused on the challenges when we're doing life with others. The last 2 times I went was like a "walk in the park" because that's exactly how we did it - talking and laughing and checking on each other like a literal walk in the park.

Just for perspective, in this trip I only really knew ONE person - the one that was all the way ahead of us. 🙄😂

I was busy trying to talk myself out of this hike because all I saw was the struggle, because for a good minute (40minutes) it was just me. But when I remembered I was on the journey with others (even at our different paces), it gave me a little boost to carry on. Just a little bit. 😂

It started to get steep. I'm afraid of heights and so looking back or down was NOT an option. I had to keep going. I saw other hikers coming back down and got scared off a little.  Making way for them to come down  meant me stepping aside a little and looking around. All this while I've just been doing one. step. at. a. time.

My "team" was no where in sight. 😩 I said hello to the other hikers like I was having the time of my life. 😂 

"Im about to die LORD IF YOU DONT COME NOW!!!" 😖

Fear crept in because I looked around!

Fear crept in because I cared about how well the other hikers was doing coming back down, while I'm trying to make my way up!

Fear crept in, also because I looked to the challenge and not on how well I was doing so far.

Its YOUR journey! Keep going.

I held on to that. When I looked back, I chose to see how far I came more than how scary the height was.

"Oh wow! That's a long way I've come! I can actually keep going." *taps self on the back. 😆 

So I kept going. But I slowed down. The others caught up and went ahead because I was really just enjoying the journey now. Until...

The last steep.

They have all reached the top except me.  Screaming and taking in the view. While trying to encourage me. Lol. I couldn't carry on. I was tired now. I couldn't try and get up any longer I thought.  It wasnt just the tired physically, it was also the fact that I had to figure out what to hold on to to get to the top. They were throwing in ideas but I was too tired to think too.

Finally I gave up and thought I'd just wait there for them to come back down. I've come far enough.

I remembered a line from Leadershifft discussions, "if you have to do it alone, would you still do it?"

Walking with people is amazing. But if you end up on a road where you have to do it alone, would you? 

I said, if its worth it, ABSOLUTELY. 🥺

And that's how we got to the top. 

📍Mt Korobaba 2021