SUCH TIMES

I feel like the year is coming to a close very quickly this time around. It's exciting but also very scary? The future is sometimes.  "It's Gonna Be Okay" were the words I was dying to hear when challenged with my 1st major obstacle for the year (Which wasn't that much big of a deal compared to the ones that came after that). Well after that hurdle came several more. And now just when we thought we were ready for 2014, God drops another bomb on us. The last one I suppose, for the year.  Tears shed and emotions on the loose as soon as the bomb was dropped. As much as our flesh wants to question and wallow in it all, the sweet Lord reminds us through His Spirit and each other, of His love and for me personally, He reminds me of all I experienced this year and how much He was the real part of it all; that everything He allows for us is for our good and that all in all it is all to bring Him glory! That its all about Him. Never about us or how we should feel good...

How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!  Psalm 133:1 How is it that I live with the coolest people ever in the coolest house ten (to fifteen) 21year old girls can ever live in, in Fiji, 5mins away from USP. Two years ago (which wasn’t really a long time ago) some of us weren’t even allowed to step out of the house at 12 midnight, let alone sleep over at a friend’s house. And daylighting was never to be discussed.  Ever. Moving out? - Impossible.  Crazy! Its like we were hand picked. Literally. From our different upbringings and backgrounds and past, one thing we have come to ‘see’ and continue to secretly give God a quick smile for is, our similarities in taste of values in literally everything – (apart from clothes and music) modesty, integrity, and especially our faith in the lover of our soul. Coming to live together and discovering these things about each other has been mind blowing where Im like, “…and I thought I was the ...

I sat there kind of regretting the whole idea of going there in the first place. 5cm away from where I was sitting and another 25cm after that was just SO MUCH rubbish.  I couldn’t even spot the sand on that Suva Point seashore.  Ideas and reasons of having that shoreline cleaned  up flooded my mind because at that moment it just seemed disgusting. Definitely not favourable for the public. Yet! The public was there. And so was Dilz, literally 5cm away from all that rubbish! Not only that, tide was coming in and the only place left to cover was the rubbish area. Hence the splash from the waves, I could feel on my face. Starting to get mad at myself for deciding to sit without thinking, I heard the voice say, “FOCUS on the waves.” But Lord I came here to journal not watch the waves.  Besides the sea scares me at times. NOT a big fan. :/ “FOCUS on the waves.” Oh-kay. Sigh.  So this is what I observed.  The force of the waves increases as it appro...

Amazingly overwhelmed is how I best describe (though poorly i think) my feelings in the past week.  I thought everything was good until it got even better! Phew. My hands are sweating and shaking and my heart skipping as I write this.  The Presence. - I welcome thee ! God is good. The phrase I struggled to say and believe with all my heart every other day. I have to confess, at least once a week I give in and get soooo mad - at everything, at everyone, at life, at God.  Yesterday was that day for me this week.  It came out of nowhere. Anger i mean.  I was angry. So angry.  I've recently been so fearful of alot of things and I hated it.  Negative thoughts and ideas flooded my mind like crazy - suicide included.  I didnt have the heart to talk with anyone. I walked down to Suva Point.  I imagined myself walking and walking and walking into the ocean until.......   That small ounce of faith I had inside of me knew I would literally ...

My testimony of what I’m enduring through this past month.    I was feeling like a failure.   Everything I did or didn’t do was judged and so haunted me.   All that I was involved in and all that I wanted didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.   I gave in. I believed the lies that I really was a failure.   Everything seemed okay and settled on the outside but my heart was at war.   The Lord was sweet in coming through to me through His word as I sought Him. So I concluded that it was just me and the Lord that needed to sort out my problems.   Didn’t think anyone near me fully understood what I was going through because I didn’t even understand it myself. I felt I was slipping away from something but didn’t really know what. June 12 th God allowed I experience something insanely painful. Insanely painful.   It challenged everything I’ve always believed in and love talking about: GRACE, Forgiveness, love, hope. ...